Davi; Hockey before class? I'll have coffee waiting.

And before anyone else gets their panties in a twist, I. Do. Not. Care. Now leave me the hell alone.

[Private to Self]
Jag kan inte stanna här längre, det går inte. Det känns som om jag håller på att bli helt galen, inget känns riktigt längre. Funderade på att åka hem men dom kommer att fråga, alla kommer att fråga. Jag åker så snart matchen är avklarad.

Den dumma lilla idioten ligger på sjukavdelning, jag borde inte bry mig men av nån orsak gör jag det. Guh, nog stark förbannelse och jag kanske slipper honom. Om jag bara kunde koncentrera mig nog. Inte ens besvärjelsen på James fungerade som den skulle och det är helt och hållet hans fel.

[TRANSLATION: I can't stay here anymore, it's not possible. It feels like I'm going completely insane, nothing feels real anymore. Thinking about going home but they'l start asking questions, everyone will start to question things. I'll leave as soon as the game is over. The stupid little idior is in the hospital ward, I shouldn't care but for some reason I still do. Guh, a strong enough curse and maybe I'm rid of him. If I could just concentrate enough. Not even the spell on James worked as it should and it's completely his fault.]
[/Private]

[Private to Vincent Keller]
I need a word with you. In person.
[/Private]

Heh, seems my roommate just upped and left. Apparently she can't take jokes very well these days. Crazy, right. She might just finally see that I'm not like her. Nice and quiet and calm in the room at least. Teachers have been observing me in an nearly unnerving way since that though, guess they're not much for jokes either.

Oli; dear, up for cashing in that rain check soon? I'm bored, I need something to do asides from magic, it's not as satisfactory anymore, there's not enough blood just school work. Anyone?

Keller; I'm docking ten point for your spectacular pyrotechnics the other day. Take it like the a man you aren't, also, I'm still waiting for that apology.

River; you, me, gym. Please?

[Private to Self]
I swear if Embla keeps nagging me she's going to find her lips melting together next. Christ that woman is such an annoyance! I'm tempted to break a leg on her since that would give me the room all to myself.

It was such a rush though, watching Keller crumble by such a simple spell. Looking back is making me think I should have been even worse, it felt nice watching him suffer, even if it took the imps a bit to clean up. Damn Akio for coming by.
[/Private]

[Private to self]
That little incompetent son of a bitch!
How can someone be so completely unable to take of himself as that.. that CHILD!?
A mugging? A god damned mugging?! How the hell does a fire mage like him not...
Why didn't he just fight back?! Why?
I don't... I don't get it.
I really don't.

Viktor?
Please?
[/private]

I'm going home for the weekend. Everyone just leave me the hell alone!

I was approached the other day about some changes in my routine, but I'm sure it won't be too far a stretch once I've gotten used to it. There's been some changes around school I'm sure everyone's noted and since apparently Vii has decided to depart home I have been offered the place as Head Girl, which I have accepted. This won't mean too many changes so don't get all worked up over nothing.

[Private to self]
I nearly cursed someone today, for something so minor as crossing my path and being annoying. I shouldn't be reacting this strong to something to minor. Maybe it's just the weather making me feel moody.

I WILL though curse whoever's the cause of the constant damn itching I am currently experiencing. It is ANNOYING as hell.
[/private]

[Private to self]
It's been a week, things are feeling a lot better now though I fear I'm still somewhat moody but that will go away. I'm sure it's just lingering somethings after having spent the weekend at Disney world with what feels like half of Rakiah. I found myself really contemplating cursing a few of them just so they would shut up, even caught myself mumbling on one curse at a time.

It startled me, that's really a bit over the top even for me. I found myself drawing the other day, I don't really know what it is but it's just something I can't shake and I need to get it out of my head. Maybe it's just my mind trying to be cryptic in its dealing with what's been happening?

Have some pictures for the locket though, god I think my mom squealed my ears into pieces when I told her what he got me. She's such a kid some days. It was a piece of jewelry, not a confession of love so I don't see why she gets so completely uppity over it.
[/private]

[Private to Dylan]
How are you holding up?
[/private]

Just a reminder to those in the Boxing club, first meeting for the term will be Sunday at 8pm. Warm up will start a bit earlier for those who are up for it.

Shizuka; will you be joining us again?

[Private to self]
Happy birthday.
Just a couple of more hours, just need to hold it together a couple of more.
Here's for hoping I won't break down completely
[/private]

[Private to Jae]
I'm sorry raring....
I didn't mean
Please
I really need you right now.
[/private]

[Private to Arion and River]
I'll be down at Lady Kass's from pretty early, feel free to drop by whenever.
[/private]

[Private to self]

Jag känner för att bara slå huvudet i väggen och ge upp. Undrar om Embla skulle låta mig sova bort hela helgen, kanske till och med skulle passa på att fara hem om det inte vore för att föräldrarna skulle börja fråga och ha sig.

Det känns som om jag håller på att drunka, spelar ingen roll vad jag gör för det blir ändå bara fel. Nåja, bara att ta ett djupt andetag och hålla ut. Riten är på Söndag, har nästan allt jag behöver. Kan vara en bra ide att prata med Haruka, påminna henne om att jag kommer in före lektionen på Månadag, eventualla bandage tills dess kan också vara en fördel.

Det är rätt, koncentrera dig på det och inte en massa annat, lugn och sansad, bara tre dagar till.

[/Private]
( translation )

I have some left over Christmas cookies and chocolate in case anyone would feel like some sweets, I'm not big on them myself. Hope everyone had a pleasant New Years though.

Before anyone asks, no I will not dress up for Mitaartut, I have better things to do. Tutoring River among other things.

Oh and Anya, thank you so much for the shoes. Just what I had always wanted bitch.

[Private to self]
I think I might have found it. Eibon, the Liber Ivonis. I can't believe it, this is the best, I can't even... Ohgod. I'm hoping to have it before the weekend. Jon wasn't too sure when he would get it delivered but he said soon and he promised to call when he got it in. I don't care if it's in the middle of the night I am porting back to pick it up right then. Screw classes!

I need to pick up some more sandalwood for the ritual on Sunday, should be able to do that while I'm in town later.
[/Private]

[Private to Reo]
Do you think you could spare a moment?
[/Private]

It's been snowing like crazy here, been the first Christmas in years where it's actually snowed on Christmas Eve and it hasn't melted away within minutes of hitting the ground. Fucking Freezing! A bit too cold for my liking though but that does come with the season.


Thank you everyone for your gifts, they are very much appreciated. I do hope you're all enjoying yours.
And to whomever sent the pink dye, utterly hilarious.


[Private to self]
Another year, Rite of Belial went well. I'm just glad I was sane enough to remember everything correctly and that it wasn't under last weeks mess. I should probably get a new dagger though, for some reason the one I have doesn't feel as right anymore.

Might make an attempt of talking to Reo again when I get back as well, the dreams are back again. Makes me wonder if.. Oh lord I hope not, god that will be awkward.
[/Private]

[Private to Arion]
You will help me finish that bottle, I should make you drink it all yourself the last thing I feel or want right now is to have another hangover. We can save it for graduation or something. But you're helping me finish it off, no matter what.
[/Private]

[Private to Jae]
Thank you raring, slippers are awesome, they match the leg warmers perfectly but you planned that didn't you? Give my best to the family and don't drive them completely up the wall.

I need to talk to you I will give you a call miss you. Maybe we can meet up for New Years? Unless appa has a million of plans for you.
[/Private]

[Private to self]
Allting gör ont just nu, det känns som om mitt huvud håller på att långsamt spricka för att min hjärna sväller eller nånting sånt. Att ligga kvar i sängen med täcket över huvudet känns som en otroligt bra idé just nu.

.....helvete! Fan! Undrar hur länge det kommer att dröja innan dom släpper det här? Speciellt Ari med allt jag sa till honom. FAN!

[TRANSLATION: Everything hurts right now, it feels like my skull is slowly cracking under the pressure of brain swelling or something. Staying in bed under the covers feels like an incredibly good idea right now. Hell! Damn! Wonder how long it will take them before they let go of this. Especially Ar with all that I told him. DAMN!]
[/Private]

I do not want to see people today, I think I am just going to spend the day in bed. My head hurts. I feel like I have been binge drinking for a week. So glad Lit exam isn't before 11:30 on Monday. Hopefully this hellish headache has given up by then.

Can everyone I talked too in the last week just forget everything I said or did? It would be greatly appreciated.

[Private to Jae and Arion]

I have some Christms presents for you guys, I'm leaving kind of early on the 23rd so I'll pop by the evening before to play Santa. Alright?

[/Private]

[Private to self]

There's something wrong, I can feel it but I can't tell what it is and it's driving me nuts. I keep having these... random bursts of energy and, and something! It's driving me crazy. And the fidgeting, the constant fidgeting and humming is really getting to me. I can't imagine what it must do to Embla.

It seems to come and go in almost waves now, at the beginning of the week I just couldn't stop. Now at least I seem to have moments of clarity, once in a while. Though I do seem to have moments of extreme insanity as well, I found myself looking around the lunch room for Alec Montague. Now THAT is something that will keep weirding me out until the day I die or something. Something is very, very wrong. I need to figure out what this is and NOW.


.... I feel calmer now though, disregarding the strange fluxes of, whatever it might be that I'm experiencing. Seems I just needed to get that out of my system, feels like I can finally go back to being myself again, like everything will be alright and as it should be. Even the dreams are gone now.

[/Private]

So... who's up for something? Anything? I can't seem to really sit still, I think my constant humming, singing or tapping is starting to annoy Embla so I have to escape before she curses my bum or something.

I... feel, oddly happy unable to stay still. Think it must be the season or that we're getting closer to winter break that does it OR it was that whole getting stuff off my chest thing or maybe I should say lips, Oh crap it I don't know anymore but there's no more brooding and I'm HAPPY!

Really, anyone, please save me~~ Otherwise I might have to study for the midterms and I DON'T WANT TOO!! T_T

I hope everyone has a great Lucia, I miss Stockholm, only ten more days, ten more days. I can do this. and Leon, thanks for the company.

Considering doing some xmas shopping before the midterms kick off, I need to stock up on candles while I'm at it too. Seem to be running through them faster than I should thought I would.

[Private to Boxing Club]
Final meeting for this term will be tonight. I for one will be doing another session next week and while I know it is in the middle of Midterms, excercise is a good thing to break off all the studying. Anyone who wants are welcome to join in.

First meeting for next term will be on the 10th.
[/Private]

Shizuka: I'll meet up with you outside the gym tonight.

[Private to self]
Vad. I. Hela. Helvete... Okay, nog får vara nog. Jag vet inte vad jag ska göra längre. Jag bara... ARGH! Det är inte klokt, inte det minsta jävla lilla. Jag måste härifrån, för en gång skull kan jag inte vänta på att äntligen åka hem.

Maybe being around the parents will calm things down a bit.

[TRANSLATION: What. The. Hell... Okay, enough's enough. I don't know what to do anymore. I just... ARGH! It's not sane, not the damn least. I have to get out of here, for once I can't wait to finally go home.]
[/Private]

[Private to self]

What is wrong with me?! Why do I keep getting...

Det är inte logiskt, inget av det är. Och frustrerande och bara störigt. Jag borde inte reagera såhär men likväl gör jag det, gång på gång på gång. Som att det inte var illa nog förra gången jag fick spel. Det spelar ingen som helst roll vad jag gör, allt blir bara fel. Varför måste jag... Varför...

Jag vill hem.

Thank god for finals next week.

[TRANSLATION: It's not logical, none of it is. And frustrating and just bothersome. I shouldn't react like this but still I do, over and over and over. As if it wasn't bad enough the last time I freaked out. It doesn't matter what I do, everything goes wrong. Why must I... Why... I want home.]
[/Private]


[Private to Arion]

.... I might skip the formal but you guys make sure to have fun though.

[/Private]

Is there anyone willing to join me for drinks tomorrow instead of going to the formal?


[ooc: she's just being an ass and trying to weasel out of it. Not that it'll work, if anyone feels for twisting her arm about it, GO AHEAD!]

Seems there is some kind of a flu or an annoying run of colds going around. So far I have managed to not get infected and I would prefer to keep it that way so anyone who keeps sniffling, please make yourself scares.

[Private to self]
Seems almost like a plague the way this is spreading around school. No one was sick last week and now half of them are sneezing and.... it seems people's powers are shifting. Feels almost like a side effect of something.

...come to think of it.
[/Private]

My condolences to anyone who knew Jason well. Can't say I really did, though it feel somewhat unreal none the less.


I finally got my copy of Picatrix, not a day too late. I was running out of things to read and there's still three weeks left of classes before I'm allowed to get out of this place. I should try and go, get the damn gifts over and done with as well.

[Private to self]
Jason, I didn't know him too well but I can't see anything good coming from this. Seems people are already talking, and they seem to not be the only ones.

I'm going to try and distract myself by reading, thankfully I was shipped all the four books of Picatrix at once. I might have been less than appriciative otherwise but then again I got the Liber Juratus at last, and that is bound to be useful. It smells nice as well, old and worn. You can tell it's been used, the pages are slightly stained and the back is all cracked. Whoever had this before me should be strung up and bled. These books deserve to be treated with care.
[/private]

[Private to Misae]
I have aquired a copy of The Picatrix and a latin version of the Liber Juratus. You might find these interesting.
[/private]

Also, need to pick up more coal, papers, soap and something to wear for the formal.

Confined to the dorms, not sure if I should count it as a curse or a blessing. Had to come when I'm not feeling hung over anymore and in desperate need of a run, didn't it? At least I have plenty of things to read in order to help pass some time.

If anyone's feeling up for a game of Checkers or Chess, feel free to let me know.

[Private to self]
Antar jag kan använda det här för att jobba lite mer på mina besvärjelser. Inget ont som inte för något gott med sig?
[Translation: Guess I can use this to work some more on my incantations. Nothing bad that don't bring something good? (Last part is a common Swedish proverb, hence why it sounds so weird in English.)]

I will need to hunt down Jae... or, urgh, I should, possibly. Maybe I can just hide away in my room for now and do some light physicals and try and forget. Probably won't do much good but what's the harm in trying?
[/Private]

we all have a sickness
that cleverly attaches and multiples
no matter how we ( try )

remind me that we'll always have each other
when everything else is ( gone )